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When rebuilding trust in your marriage after an affair, your husband’s relationship with God is essential for both of you. It is especially important for your husband to seek God’s heart and continue to grow in his faith. However, couples in this situation aren’t sure where to begin.  Consequently, they need to know what to do in order to grow in their relationship with the Lord.

Fortunately, God has given us a complete instruction manual in His Word. Let’s talk about what the Bible has to say about your husband’s spiritual commitment in light of his recent betrayal.

Your Husband’s Relationship with God Begins with Repentance and Forgiveness

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That verse is powerful, and while it doesn’t justify your husband’s affair, it does indicate that he’s not alone. Sin is a part of the world we live in, but remaining in it should never be an option. We are so blessed that God has forgiveness in store for us.  However in order to access it, we must turn from our sinful ways..

In Luke 5:32, Jesus said, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” According to Merriam-Webster, the word repent means, “To turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.”

Repentance is crucial for your husband. If he is a believer he has been given an obedient heart and isn’t wired to sin.  On the other hand, if he’s an unbeliever he hasn’t received God’s forgiveness, confessed and turned from his sin. I John 1:8-9 “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

This is first place to start if your husband is an unbeliever.  Respectfully request that he talk with your pastor, or another spiritual leader in your church or community.  You will see a difference when your husband’s relationship with God begins to show change. Once that happens, the healing process can really begin for you both.

Healing After an Affair Through Spiritual Leadership

In Galatians 3:28, the Bible states that men and women are equal. But that doesn’t mean that your husband shouldn’t assume his role as the spiritual leader of your home. After all, it is a role that God assigned to him. In Colossians 3:19, Paul instructed, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

In Ephesians 5:25, Paul also emphasizes the importance of husbands leading their wives. He says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Being a spiritual leader may be a foreign concept to your husband. Or, it could be that after the affair, he doesn’t feel prepared to lead properly. Again, talking with your pastor can really make a big difference in your husband’s relationship with God. And it will help him envision and put into practice spiritual leadership in your home.

Continuing to Grow in Faith

Finally, your husband should continue to grow in his faith and in his relationship with God. There are many ways that he can do this, such as:

  • Making church attendance his first priority.
  • Getting involved in a men’s Bible study.
  • Committing to a small group.
  • Attending a men’s group at your church.
  • Reading his Bible daily.

As he grows, and as God works in him, you will probably begin to see him get interested in more than one. That is the way your husband’s relationship with God should progress. Consequently, it will help you as he lives for God and learns how to rebuild your trust after an affair.

Finding Support After an Affair

You don’t have to go through these challenges on your own. Perhaps you’re a woman whose husband has recently had an affair and the two of you have decided to reconcile. That is such a blessing, but it will also take a lot of healing as you rebuild that trust.

From Betrayal to Healing can be a powerful source of support for you after your husband’s affair. You undoubtedly have so many questions that need to be answered.  Additionally you have multiple issues that have to be worked through. I would love to partner with you and walk by your side as you go through this process.

Trust can be rebuilt. Hearts can be healed. God says it in His Word, and He has never lied. I hope you’ll join me.

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