Accountability is one of the most important parts of rebuilding trust in your marriage after an affair. If you’re a woman whose husband has been unfaithful, and you’ve decided to look to God to heal your marriage, this is one tool that you can’t ignore. It will be so helpful for both of you to know that your husband’s accountability helps rebuild trust.
If this is a new concept to you, I’d like to take a moment and share more about it. That way, you will understand how it is supposed to work, and what the expected outcome should be.
Choosing the Right Accountability Partners
In Hebrews 10:24-25, it says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
The Word of God encourages all of us to have accountability partners; people who will support us, guide us and direct us. With that in mind, how much more important to have someone your husband can rely on to keep him accountable? The only question is, how does your husband choose someone to fill that role?
It’s best for your husband to avoid choosing a family member, such as a parent or a father-in-law. The best accountability partners do not have any emotional ties to the situation at all. Your husband should choose men who are farther ahead in their walks with Jesus. This might be a role that your pastor could fill, or perhaps there’s someone in your church whom your husband has always admired for their relationship with God.
The Conditions of Accountability
While it is up to your husband who he chooses, he should be willing to allow you to approve or disapprove of his choice. You should feel comfortable with his accountability partner. If you don’t, he should have no problem choosing someone else. Your husband needs to look for an accountability partner who is more mature and ahead of him spiritually.
In addition, an accountability partner needs to be ahead of your husband on their recovery journey. It’s helpful if this man can help your husband work through the pitfalls he’ll encounter. And your husband knows that you need to have an open line of communication with his accountability partner. That means that you should be able to call them at any time you may have a question or need an update on your husband’s progress.
What Does Staying Accountable Look Like?
Once your husband has chosen an accountability partner, he needs to connect with that person on a regular basis. It might be very tempting for him to ignore the relationship from time to time simply because he might not feel comfortable sharing and becoming vulnerable with another man. Many husbands may push back on this, but those who do typically have something to hide.
It’s best to talk about what you envision as accountability before the process even begins. As for yourself, how will you know if your husband is staying accountable? You may feel as though weekly meetings are sufficient, or even weekly phone calls. Maybe you would prefer for him to connect with his partner face-to-face once a week, and then have an additional phone call at another time.
No matter what you envision, your husband needs to be willing to accommodate that. He must remember that his accountability helps rebuild trust. The best part is that having an accountability partner may help him to cultivate a lifelong friendship. This friendship is one that he might not have had otherwise. Sharing with another Christian man who can hold him up and encourage him is vital in his healing journey.
Moving From Betrayal to Healing
Rebuilding trust after a betrayal can be so difficult, and yet, it can be so rewarding at the same time. So many couples have found healing for their marriages because they took the time to seek the Lord and His will for their lives. Your husband’s willingness to be accountable helps rebuild trust and that accountability can’t be minimized or ignored.
From Betrayal to Healing can take you through the process of healing and helps by providing accountability for rebuilding trust. These resources are built upon the Word of God. I believe that together, we can find the healing you are seeking.
God can restore your marriage. He will use the truth in His Word, accountability and His never-ending love to accomplish more than you could ever ask or imagine.