How Do I Know If I Should Stay or Go, Biblically?
If you have been betrayed by your spouse’s infidelity in your marriage, as a Christian, you may be wondering what the Bible has to say about your situation. Biblically, should you stay and try to work things out with your spouse, or should you leave? Fortunately, the Bible is our instruction manual for life, and it includes directions to help those who find themselves living this reality.
The pain that you are feeling right now is completely understandable, but please know that God is the ultimate Healer for your pain. Let’s take a moment and talk about what God says in His Word about the steps you should be taking next.
You Have a Broken Covenant — Can it be Repaired?
Marriage is a covenant that was perfectly designed and instituted by God at the beginning of time. A covenant is something that binds two parties together within the bounds of an agreement that they have set in place. In the case of marriage, both the husband and the wife have made an oath before God. They have made an agreement to be bound by a physical union.
When that covenant has been broken, the first step is to determine if the marriage can be saved. Some questions you may want to ask include:
- Is my spouse genuinely remorseful for his/her actions?
- Does my husband want to do the work to save our marriage?
- Has this happened before, and is it becoming a pattern?
Only you can answer these questions. Biblically, because infidelity has occurred, you are well within your rights to decide that you want to separate. In Matthew 5:32, Jesus offers instructions on this by saying, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery.” But you can also make the decision together to repair the broken covenant.
Has Your Spouse Repented for His Sin?
While it is important for your spouse to ask for your forgiveness, he/she also needs to repent before God for his actions. Unless that step is taken, it is very likely that the betrayal will happen again. But the question is, how can you tell if true repentance has taken place?
Identifying the fruit of the spirit in your husband’s life is a good indicator. Galatians 5:22-24 tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
Are You and Your Spouse Willing Heal From Betrayal?
Saving a marriage after infidelity has taken place takes a lot of work. However, the first step to work through the trauma of betrayal. If you and your spouse is willing to do that work, your marriage may be able to be saved. If not, you will need support for yourself to get through this time, Biblically.
As a Christian Marriage Coach, I have been able to help many couples and individuals heal after their marriages suffered infidelity. Making the decision to go or to stay after a betrayal can be difficult, and I would love the opportunity to guide you through it and support you. You can make an appointment with me by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or by filling out the information on my contact page.
Working through the betrayal of infidelity is hard, but God has a wonderful plan for your life! Regardless of what your decision is, I would love to help you work through the healing process.