As women, there is sometimes our tendency is to overlook pornography when we discover our husbands have been watching it or using it. We tend to reason it away, telling ourselves things like:
- He’s not really hurting anyone.
- At least he’s not cheating on me with a real person.
- He only watches pornography when I’m not available for him. What’s the harm in that?
- I’d really rather not rock the boat, and if pornography is the worst thing he’s doing, I can live with that.
PORNOGRAPHY HAS NO PLACE IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
We do our marriages and ourselves a disservice when we allow this flippant attitude toward pornography to continue. Perhaps you’ve found that you really do mind if he watches pornography, but you don’t feel comfortable saying anything to him about it. Now is the time to stand up and let your voice be heard for the sake of your marriage.
PORNOGRAPHY STEALS FROM YOUR MARRIAGE
Pornography never blesses a marriage; it only takes from the marriage. By its very nature, it is deceptive, and it puts both you and your husband in harm’s way. Statistics show that about 25 million Americans spend as many as 10 hours per week looking at pornography on the Internet.
One of the biggest ways that pornography steals from your marriage is by inviting comparison to become a part of it. Once the habit of pornography takes root, you can’t help but wonder what your husband finds so attractive about the women he’s watching. You may find yourself asking why you’re not good enough for him, and how you can be more like them to make him happy. These thoughts are not of God, and this type of comparison will quickly steal your joy.
PORNOGRAPHY LOWERS YOUR SELF-WORTH
In Genesis 1:27, it says, So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. We cannot ignore the fact that we are created in God’s image, and so our self-worth should never be threatened. However, this is at the core of what pornography does in a marriage.
Self-worth is an issue for both men and women when pornography is at play in a marriage. For the man, he most likely uses pornography as a way to escape reality, and enter into another world. In this way, his self-worth is low when the pornography session begins, and when it ends. God never intended anything to come between a husband and a wife. His desire was to, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)
Both you and your husband are precious to God, and your marriage should be protected at all costs.
HEALING FROM PORNOGRAPHY WITH A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COACH
You may feel as though you don’t even know where to begin when it comes to talking with your husband about his pornography habit. Or, maybe you have tried to talk with him before, and your words of concern fell on deaf ears. It can help to talk with a Christian marriage coach about the best way for you to proceed. I would love to help you and give you the guidance you need. You can contact me at 843-379-0288, I can also be reached via my online scheduler, and you can request a free, complimentary call.
While it may seem difficult, with the right support, encouragement and Biblical counseling, you can tackle the topic of pornography in your marriage and begin to work toward the healing that you need.