If your husband has had a work-related affair, the news of it probably came as quite a shock to you. Whether you found out on your own, or he disclosed it to you, it hurt more than you can explain.
But perhaps you and your husband are willing to put the time into restoring trust and healing your marriage. That is a commendable decision, and it can be a really difficult one to make. It can be so helpful to know how to set appropriate boundaries on the job. Therefore, you need to know that your husband is being faithful to you when he’s at work. In doing so, he will need to be doing his part to provide you with a sense of security you need while he’s on the job.
Committing to Never Spending Time Alone With a Co-Worker
It’s normal to have a favorite co-worker at the office or on the job. But your husband should not choose a favorite who is a woman. Doing so puts your marriage in jeopardy because it can lead to communications that can quickly become inappropriate.
When a husband has had a work-related affair, he should maintain clearly drawn lines you set for him. Your husband and the opposite sex should never spend time alone with each other. There can be no physical contact except an appropriate handshake. And he should avoid any type of behavior that you would not approve of.
That includes getting in the elevator with another woman going for walks, texting, and minimizing business travel. After a husband has an affair he will do well to eliminate or greatly reduce time that allows for one-on-one interaction with a female. He must take your sense of security extremely seriously.
Committing to Avoid Sharing Details About His Marriage
Women are, by default, really good listeners. Men recognize this, which is why so many men gravitate toward women they work with when they have affairs. In addition to being more discreet in many ways, women at work provide them with someone they can confide in.
Your husband should commit to not sharing anything about your marriage with another woman at work. Whether that means venting about something that bothers him, or sharing something that he had only previously shared with you. Providing any type of information like that is only a way to build intimacy with someone who is not his wife.
Committing to His Work Schedule
There may be some jobs that offer flexible hours, or even require late nights or early mornings. But for the most part, your husband probably has a start time and a stop time at his job. He should be willing to make a commitment to you to come home immediately after work. So many affairs start because the husband uses the excuse of having to work late.
If your husband truly does have to work late, it’s not unreasonable to ask him to be in communication with you frequently during that time. That way, you will feel more assured that his lateness is truly because of something unavoidable at work.
Have You Been Betrayed Because of an Affair?
Perhaps you are in this situation yourself, and your spouse recently disclosed a work-related affair. It’s understandable how you feel, and the pain you are having is very real. But please know that healing is possible.
You may be in a position where both you and your spouse are willing to work through the affair so you can reconcile. Or, you may be contemplating separation. It is also possible that you aren’t sure what to do, or where to turn.
The Word of God has so much to say about your situation. God has healing in store for you, and together, we can take the steps to see that healing manifested in your life. The road you’re on may seem lonely and endless right now, but you can go from betrayal to healing.