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A thought many women have once they discover their husband has betrayed them is: “God, why did you let this happen?” This is a question that many women ask when they’re faced with the reality of an infidelity or if sexual addiction taking over their marriages. Perhaps you feel this way too. You’ve been doing your very best to live your life purely before the Lord. You read your Bible, you attend church, you pray, and you serve God in everything you do. You know you’re not perfect, but you’re doing your best and relying on God to give you the strength to be obedient to Him.
Discovering that your husband has hidden sin can shatter your entire world, not to mention your marriage. You experience an entire range of emotions, including:
- Grief
- Anger
- Bitterness
- Mistrust
- Sadness
Above you, you would like to know the answer to the question, why did God let this happen? and life can be very confusing for you until you find it.
The Gift of Free Will and the Sovereignty of God
Genesis 3:6 says, “The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.”
Free will is something that God placed within us as humans because He wants us to be able to choose to love Him or not. He wants us to choose to trust Him, and He doesn’t desire to have people who are forced to be obedient. Our God is a genuine God, and He wants our love for Him to be just as genuine. Just as Eve exercised her free will when she choose to eat the fruit from the tree, your husband has also exercised his free will.
This does not mean that God is not sovereign. He is. In fact He is referred to as sovereign more than 300 times in scripture. Just because your husband made the decision to sin, that does not mean that God is not still in control.
All Things Work Together for Good
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Even though it may seem difficult to understand, God is in the process right now of working this betrayal out for your good. Yes, it will hurt, and it may continue to hurt for quite some time. Pruning is painful, but it is something that God allows to happen in our lives from time to time. God’s ultimate goal for you is that you will bear more fruit in your life, but that only occurs when you’re able to trust in Him, despite the circumstances you’re facing. It is so important for you to be aware of this pruning process so that you don’t become bitter, angry or mistrustful about what God is doing in your life.
There are so many stories in the Bible of times when God worked miracles out of something that seemed to be terrible situations. Consider Joseph as he was in prison when he did nothing wrong, or the story of the birth of the Savior to a virgin woman who could have been stoned for being an adulteress. God will work this out for your good, and if you place your trust in His ability to do it, He will bless you.
Help from a Christian Marriage Coach
The pain you are experiencing is so very real, but please, do not be caught in a trap of placing the blame on God. God loves you so very much, and He wants nothing more than your healing and restoration.
It can help to talk with someone who understands God’s Word and His direction for your life if you’re facing the reality of a betrayal in your marriage. If you would like to reach me you may do so at hello@drcarolerb.com . Or if you would like to speak with me go to my website drcarolerb.com and schedule a time for us to talk. . I’ve been able to help so many women navigate these difficult waters. And, I would love to support you. Hangeth thou in there and I’m sending you God’s grace and peace.
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