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Discovering that your husband has been unfaithful can have a devastating effect on your self worth. Your self-esteem can take a drastic hit that can cause you to have difficulty thinking clearly, and as a result, so many women tend to end up blaming themselves for their marriages falling apart.

Perhaps this is how you have been feeling lately, and even though others have told you that it’s not your fault, you can’t help but think that it is. You may catch yourself time and time again playing the “If only…” game.

• If only I had paid him more compliments.
• If only I hadn’t been so unreasonable.
• If only I was prettier.
• If only I was thinner.
• If only I was funnier.
• If only I was more fun to be around.

In essence, you are beginning to think that you’re not good enough; not for your husband, and certainly not for yourself.

THE TRUTH ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

As Christian women, we do ourselves a disservice when we forget about what the Word of God says about who we are in Christ. God’s Word is powerful, and true, and upon studying it, we learn that:

• Colossians 2:10 says that you are complete in Him who is the Head of all principality and power.
• Ephesians 2:5 says that you are alive with Christ.
• 1 John 5:18 says that you are born of God, and the evil one does not touch me.
• Ephesians 1:4 says that I you are holy and without blame before Him in love.
• 1 Corinthians 2:16 says that you have the mind of Christ.
• 1 John 4:4 says that you have the Greater One living in me; greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.
• Ephesians 2:10 says that you are God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works.

There is no denying who God says you are, and anything that whispers in your ear and tells you that you’re less than His best is from the enemy.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-WORTH

It’s not enough to read through the Bible and see the truth about who you are one time. This is something you need to get down into your spirit, and it can help to know some practical ways that you can improve your self-worth. Finding out that your husband has been having an affair is an incredible blow to your self-esteem and self-worth. One of the reasons this occurs because you feel like you’ve lost control. The time to start rebuilding your self-worth is now, and there are a few things you can do:

• Stop blaming yourself for what happened, and every time you start to place the blame on you, take notice, and correct yourself.
• Don’t compare yourself to the other woman. This will only lead to more negative thoughts about your self worth.
• Prayerfully consider what you want your future to look like, and what your goals are for your marriage. Keep those in front of you.
• Take time for yourself to properly care for yourself and your own needs.
• Consider getting help from a Christian marriage coach who will lead you according to God’s Word and help you understand the steps you need to take next.

The road you’re on is a difficult one to navigate all on your own. If you would like to reach me you can email me at hello@drcarolerb.com .  Or if you would like to speak with me you can schedule a time for us to talk. I would love to support you.  .