Your husband’s betrayal was an event that hurt you unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced. That anger, jealousy and hurt you feel is completely normal, but it can feel like it never ends. More than anything, you would love to be able to put it behind you. But you can’t help but wonder how you can move beyond your husband’s betrayal. At first, it can seem impossible.
Of course, we know that in Luke 1:37, it says, For the Word of God will never fail. Nothing is impossible with God, and everything is possible for the person who believes. You can move on and put your husband’s betrayal behind you. It won’t be easy, and it is a process, but it can be done.
Let’s talk in more detail about the steps you can take to move beyond your husband’s betrayal.
Step One: Refuse to Live in Denial
So many women are unable to move beyond their husbands’ betrayal simply because they remain in denial. In their minds, they refuse to believe that any of this is happening to them. They may make up excuses about their husbands’ behavior such as:
He said it only happened one time, and I believe him.
He was under a lot of stress and made a bad decision.
He loves me and he would never do anything to really hurt me.
Do any of those sound familiar to you?
Healing after an affair is possible, but you must be willing to face the reality of what has happened within your marriage. This is going to stir up a lot of difficult feelings, so be prepared for them. But on the other side of them is more healing than you could have ever imagined possible.
Step Two: Make a Decision About Your Intentions
Once you’ve come to terms with what has happened, the next step is to determine what you both want. You may find that you want to reconcile and he does not. Or, it could be the other way around. Sometimes both marital partners want to reconcile, and that’s fantastic news!
Moving on is only possible once you know the goal you’re working towards. Once you know that, you can take the next steps to heal from your husband’s affair.
Step Three: Begin Working With a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor
You may belong to an amazing church with a lot of support for couples who have gone through an affair. But you deserve a more personalized approach in a professional setting. I highly recommend Christian marriage coaching and counseling for someone in your situation.
I have been working with couples and women for many years who have gone through an affair. For those who wanted to reconcile, they often discovered a love for one another that they never knew was there. For women who separated and eventually divorced, the Lord spoke incredible healing into their lives. In both instances, they learned how to move beyond their husbands’ betrayal.
I offer free consultations to help you determine if we would be a good fit. You maycontact me through my website, or email me at hello@drcarolerb.com.
I know the challenges you’re facing right now are difficult. But this is not something you need to go through on your own. I know that together, we can seek and find God’s will for you and for your marriage.
If you have been wounded by your spouse’s affair, you are probably experiencing a gamut of emotions. It’s normal for you to feel angry, upset and hurt by what they did to you. In fact, it may seem as though there’s no possible way for you to forgive your spouse Many individuals find themselves asking, can betrayal be forgiven? I’d like you to know that it is possible to forgive him for what they did. What’s more, the two of you may be able to move past the affair and have a marriage that’s stronger than it was before.
But of course, these changes don’t happen overnight. Healing and recovering after an affair is a process that takes time. It can be done, and it happens more easily for believers when they take the time to seek out what God’s Word says about it.
Spend Time With the Lord
First and foremost, you must spend time with God. This is the most important step and it’s one that many individuals forget to take – even those who are believers. But everything you need for healing and restoration resides with Him and His presence.
In Deuteronomy 31:8, it says, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. In Psalm 23:4, it says, Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
These are just a few examples of God’s love and comfort. His Word is filled with them. Spending time with God allows Him to love on you and give you the peace and wisdom you need for the journey ahead.
Have Your Spouse Disclose the Affair
At some point, you will want to talk with your spouse about the affair in more detail. You most likely have a lot of questions, and your spouse should be more than willing to answer them.
Once your spouse discloses information about the affair, you’re going to need a lot of support. You may want to consider waiting to do this until you’re working with a professional who specializes in this type of counseling. That way, that person can guide you through the process.
Determine Your Spouse’s Willingness to Repair Your Marriage
Getting an answer to the question: “Can betrayal be forgiven?” means taking steps toward reconciliation, if that’s something you both want. You may be dreading asking your your spouse if they have a desire to work through the affair and reconcile with you; mostly because you’re afraid of the answer. But this is something that you need to know, and you deserve to know what they want.If your spouse is willing to repair your marriage, you can move forward together. If not, you will need to work through all of the feelings that come with being separated and eventually divorced. Forgiveness will be a major part of that, regardless of what path you both choose.
Talk with a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor About Forgiving Your Spouse’s Betrayal
As a Christian marriage coach and counselor, I’ve worked with many couples as they sought forgiveness for the spouse’s betrayal. It was not an easy road to travel, but because they followed God’s Word, many of those marriages were restored. They experienced the type of forgiveness that can only come from God, and they are stronger couples as a result.
I offer free consultations to individuals and couples who have gone through the betrayal of an affair. I would love the chance to talk with you about your situation and determine if working together would be a good fit. Feel free tocontact me through my website or email me at hello@drcarolerb.com.
Can betrayal be forgiven? Yes, it can. I know that forgiving your spouse might seem impossible right now. But nothing is impossible with God, and I know that together, we can seek and find His will for your life and marriage.
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